Girls Trip: My biggest lesson learned
Like most women around the country, I could not wait to see Girls Trip. The previews were hilarious, it’s a Will Packer film and one of my favorite women in the world, Jada Pinkett-Smith was starring in it.. literally no way I was going to miss this all of this #blackgirlmagic
Now if you’ve already seen it, you’d probably agree it’s one of the best movies of the year. And, boy can we relate to its storyline in so many ways!
But the one lesson we can (and should) learn from the Girls Trip movie is:
the wrong relationship will ruin your life … if you let it
The movie centers around Ryan, the Author, and Businesswoman who seems to have it all. It doesn’t take long for us to realize that having it all and appearing to have it all are two totally different things and our girl Ryan was a fraud. She was suffering through a miserable marriage trying to fake the funk when she planned the reunion trip with her girlfriends. As it turns out, it was just what the doctor ordered.
Ryan almost ruined her relationships with her real friends because she couldn’t see past her man’s sh*t. She was so caught up in trying to keep up that she was literally losing herself.
So many of us have found ourselves in similar situations: stuck in a relationship, pretending that we have it all together only for it to eventually fall apart. Being caught up with the wrong man can have damaging effects on both your mental and physical health.
It’s 2017 and ain’t nobody got time to be unappreciated and half-loved.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, wake the f*ck up, remember that you’re royalty, and take these 4 steps to turn your situation around:
#1 Get real with yourself
Only you know what goes on behind closed doors and if you’re questioning your relationship it’s probably for good reason. When I was engaged to a crazy person, I constantly questioned myself… then he’d make me feel better and I’d make a bunch of excuses. But, I could only talk myself into staying for so long. The sooner you stand up for yourself (and TO yourself) the sooner you can start living your best life.
Be real– Is your love story unfolding like a dream come true or has it turned into a nightmare?
If your bestie was involved in the exact same situation as you are with your man, what would your advice be to her?
If you can take a step back and observe your relationship objectively, would you say that 80% of the time it makes you happy or miserable?
#2 Take responsibility
Blaming him might make you feel better for a moment, but it won’t get you very far. Even if you feel like you did all that you could, the question becomes: why did you allow yourself to stay in a situation for so long that you knew wasn’t serving you?
Whether you want to realize or admit it, your man will only treat you the way you allow him to.
Acceptance is allowance… and you can’t really blame him for doing what you allowed him to do. If you’re allowing him to use and abuse you, you’re telling him it’s acceptable. If you’re allowing him to ignore your needs, you’re showing him that you value him more than you value yourself.Take responsibility for your part by asking yourself what it was about you that attracted him into your life, think about the red flags that you ignored and the lesson you’ve learned.
Take responsibility for your part by asking yourself what it was about you that attracted him into your life, think about the red flags that you ignored and the lesson you’ve learned. I can 100% admit that I attracted a broken man because I was a broken woman.
#3 Go to your girls
At the end of the day, we all need love. So many of us make the mistake of trading our peace for a piece of a man. I really believe the main reason we end up in these situations is because we’re afraid of being alone. Instead of being so desperate for attention that you’re willing to deal with a dog– I’m challenging you to love yourself more and lean on your girls when you’re feeling weak.
Our real friends who have seen us at our worst will not let us go down without a fight. Sometimes all it takes is one conversation and a fresh perspective to totally change your life. If I hadn’t broken down to my best friend, who knows when I would’ve ended that engagement. That one conversation literally saved my life.
#4 Keep it moving
The best revenge is living better.
Times like this call for quality time with your girls. So whether you go out and see the Girls Trip movie to get a good laugh or take a girls trip to Atlanta to get your life together, do what you need to do for you.